Next day I woke with a severe head ache. The bed sheet was wet and my face red. I was reluctant to open my eyelids. It felt as if someone had put some weight on my eyes. I was feeling paralyzed. As I rubbed my eyes and tried to wake up all the events from the previous day rushed back in my mind. With loads of crying and sobbing I didn't felt like crying again. I knew that it would be quite difficult for me to move on so quickly but I knew that I wasn't so weak. God provide us with what we deserve and yeah, that asshole ditched me. Might be I didn't deserve him or he was such a loser and wasn't to be loved so much? I summoned all my strengths and went towards the bathroom. I took shower and went to the breakfast table later. My mom was sitting alone humming some lines of an old song. She was busy applying butter on the toast. I broke the ice and started a conversation.
"Where is dad?" I asked not letting my voice break.
"He leaves for office at eight. If you remember!" mom said still busy applying the butter.
I realized that how few months turned my life upside down. There was hardly any moment when I could sit and chat with my mom like I used to do earlier. I was trapped in the virtual world where Shreyas promised to keep me. And know when he had kicked me out, I had realized how badly I ignored my lovable parents. They were always there for me. Twenty two years of love and care faded away when that asshole came. Yes he was an asshole! He deserves to be called that.
I tried pasting a fake smile on my face so that my mother could not sense the emotional trouble I went through yesterday. She saw Kriya coming home yesterday. She sensed that something was wrong but she didn't asked so as to make the situation worse. She passed on the toast to me. I was sad but I could see some revenge settled down inside me. I had a hearty breakfast.
"Everything okay? I saw Kriya coming out from your room all flushed and monotonous," mom ultimately asked looking at me.
"And Neeyat did you cry your eyes out? Just look at your eyes. Why they are so red?" She further added.
I was munching my toast and was clueless about what to tell her. I wish I could tell her everything. She was my fairy godmother.
"Nothing mom. I was missing Kriya and others."
"Oh goodness! Neeyat you could have asked me and I would have arranged a home party for you girls," she said narrowing her eyebrows.
She was too sweet to be a mom. As I said, she was a fairy godmother. I all the sad things at least there was something good with me. My mom.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I finished my breakfast and went to my room. Of course my heart was broken into thousands of pieces but my eyes were dry enough to let out another gallon of tears. I thought that Shreyas didn't deserve to be cried for. He was just a stinky pig that was to be left alone in the slurry of shit. I was hating me. Period. It was rather good for my mental health. I patted myself in my mind and logged in my Facebook account. I had to do important tasks. I had that one hot picture of mine that Shreyas had always asked me not to upload it. Jealous mother fucker he was. I uploaded it! I was waiting for him to see it and realize that he no longer ruled my life. I minimized the Facebook window and deleted Shreyas' contact from my phone. He was in my reject list. I had a long to-do list. I made my mind to be a devil and haunt him in his nightmares.
I maximized the window to look if there were any notifications. I had few of them from my picture that I recently uploaded. There were few likes and comments my Shreyas and Danish. Well, Danish was Shreyas' best friend. He asked me out few moths back (When I and Shreyas weren't together). I stop talking to him and didn't reply him much because Shreyas was insecure with me if I talked to him. I opened the comments and suddenly a tear trickled down from my eye. The comments were devastating.
Danish- Red hot ;)
Shreyas- Danish hot? :P I am proud to be single now. Look at the pik man. Hahah!
Danish- She would not like you saying this!
Shreyas- Doesn't matter. Let her bark. She is just a slut for me.
What did he say? I am a slut...for him? He was the one who tried slipping his hand inside my clothing. He was the one who tried coming close. He was the one who faked love but...I was a slut...for him? I never knew that loving him would be that hurtful. If I would have ever known this, I would have pushed him back. It would have pinched a little if Shreyas would scream at me or beat me. At least it would be better that I being called a slut. I never thought that my Shreyas, my hot shot would ever say like that to me. I would have done bad things to him but surely I didn't deserve to be called a slut. I thought I was her Barbie (As he used to call me). I thought so much but it had to end at the word "Slut". The tears didn't stop oozing. I knew I would never forgive him. He was no longer mine. He never was!
With my shivering hands I deleted the picture and removed Shreyas from my friend list. I wanted to ask him...was it easy to leave me? But I knew I was just a slut for him. I tried blocking him from everywhere. I tried erasing all our memories. Nothing was left except the hatred. I wanted to move on. Go away from his haunting memories.
"Where is dad?" I asked not letting my voice break.
"He leaves for office at eight. If you remember!" mom said still busy applying the butter.
I realized that how few months turned my life upside down. There was hardly any moment when I could sit and chat with my mom like I used to do earlier. I was trapped in the virtual world where Shreyas promised to keep me. And know when he had kicked me out, I had realized how badly I ignored my lovable parents. They were always there for me. Twenty two years of love and care faded away when that asshole came. Yes he was an asshole! He deserves to be called that.
I tried pasting a fake smile on my face so that my mother could not sense the emotional trouble I went through yesterday. She saw Kriya coming home yesterday. She sensed that something was wrong but she didn't asked so as to make the situation worse. She passed on the toast to me. I was sad but I could see some revenge settled down inside me. I had a hearty breakfast.
"Everything okay? I saw Kriya coming out from your room all flushed and monotonous," mom ultimately asked looking at me.
"And Neeyat did you cry your eyes out? Just look at your eyes. Why they are so red?" She further added.
I was munching my toast and was clueless about what to tell her. I wish I could tell her everything. She was my fairy godmother.
"Nothing mom. I was missing Kriya and others."
"Oh goodness! Neeyat you could have asked me and I would have arranged a home party for you girls," she said narrowing her eyebrows.
She was too sweet to be a mom. As I said, she was a fairy godmother. I all the sad things at least there was something good with me. My mom.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I finished my breakfast and went to my room. Of course my heart was broken into thousands of pieces but my eyes were dry enough to let out another gallon of tears. I thought that Shreyas didn't deserve to be cried for. He was just a stinky pig that was to be left alone in the slurry of shit. I was hating me. Period. It was rather good for my mental health. I patted myself in my mind and logged in my Facebook account. I had to do important tasks. I had that one hot picture of mine that Shreyas had always asked me not to upload it. Jealous mother fucker he was. I uploaded it! I was waiting for him to see it and realize that he no longer ruled my life. I minimized the Facebook window and deleted Shreyas' contact from my phone. He was in my reject list. I had a long to-do list. I made my mind to be a devil and haunt him in his nightmares.
I maximized the window to look if there were any notifications. I had few of them from my picture that I recently uploaded. There were few likes and comments my Shreyas and Danish. Well, Danish was Shreyas' best friend. He asked me out few moths back (When I and Shreyas weren't together). I stop talking to him and didn't reply him much because Shreyas was insecure with me if I talked to him. I opened the comments and suddenly a tear trickled down from my eye. The comments were devastating.
Danish- Red hot ;)
Shreyas- Danish hot? :P I am proud to be single now. Look at the pik man. Hahah!
Danish- She would not like you saying this!
Shreyas- Doesn't matter. Let her bark. She is just a slut for me.
What did he say? I am a slut...for him? He was the one who tried slipping his hand inside my clothing. He was the one who tried coming close. He was the one who faked love but...I was a slut...for him? I never knew that loving him would be that hurtful. If I would have ever known this, I would have pushed him back. It would have pinched a little if Shreyas would scream at me or beat me. At least it would be better that I being called a slut. I never thought that my Shreyas, my hot shot would ever say like that to me. I would have done bad things to him but surely I didn't deserve to be called a slut. I thought I was her Barbie (As he used to call me). I thought so much but it had to end at the word "Slut". The tears didn't stop oozing. I knew I would never forgive him. He was no longer mine. He never was!
With my shivering hands I deleted the picture and removed Shreyas from my friend list. I wanted to ask him...was it easy to leave me? But I knew I was just a slut for him. I tried blocking him from everywhere. I tried erasing all our memories. Nothing was left except the hatred. I wanted to move on. Go away from his haunting memories.
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